Patriarchy Punches Men Too
Women can’t drive, women can’t work, women can’t make decisions, women can’t have opinions — and men? Men can’t have periods, therefore shouldn’t have mood swings, but they still do! Women are ‘entitled’ to mood swings, given how their hormones sabotage everything inside the body, for almost 2/3rd of the month, every single month. Although, that is not why they display genuine disagreement over unacceptable issues and behaviors when they do (fact check!). But what excuse do men have for their ever-shifting moods, anyway? Take the remote from them when they are watching news/games and hand over the dish scrubber and observe the mood take a full swing. There are many other examples of their chronic irritability that I could state here, but am sure you’re already following where am going with this. I could only come up with one logical explanation for them being happy with strangers in one minute and snapping at the wife or children in the next — the weight of patriarchy. Bear with me, even if you disagree, I am trying my best to simply explain and understand myself, their unreasonable behaviors, and ‘moods’.
Ever since a male human being is born, be it any culture around the globe or any geographical location, he is called a ‘boy’, a ‘man’, and the noun is associated with a lot of other authority confirming adjectives that vary in every language but carry the same weight. The words, boy (boys will be boys, boys don’t cry, boys play sports, boys drive big cars, throw like a boy, etc), and man (man of the house, man-up, man enough, men will be men, etc) have been over centuries, made synonymous with emotions that describe ‘superior’, ‘indispensable’, ‘pre-eminent’ even ‘precocious’ — simply put, the ultimate gender that can never be less. The gender that is, therefore, worthy of all the attention and all things nice. The gender that should be looked up to and be served because it’s the gifted gender that actually elevates humanity.
Now if you make this gender do (petty) household chores (that they weren’t born for) or subject them to the realization that another gender could know more on a given subject sometimes or could lead them specifically at the workplace, it will obviously come as a shock to them and affect the mood. If you decline an offer, proposal, or a suggestion given by men or simply call them out on a mistake (exactly! they do not make any) and still expect them to not lash out or dismiss you for good, then are you even being realistic? By the way, it is called hot-headedness, machismo, not a mood swing and it is hot when they lose it, ain’t it? It is the women’s temper that is called a ‘mood’ and that is a plain inconvenience, obviously! Men would agree ;D
It is easy to mock anyone for their shortcomings and we do that all the time now, especially to men and patriarchy ever since we have globally woken up to the unfairness it has been subjecting all others to. Various other genders have been going through forms of oppression for centuries, because of the myths that made men feel superior about themselves. As a matter of fact, I feel that is too much pressure on one gender from the day it is born — to exercise oppression, mostly passively! On a serious note, it definitely is excessive pressure on a human being to act and perform superior at all times, to feel and project rock-solid strength even when feeling weak, or to be solely responsible for things of grave consequences (much less compared to what women have to undertake — nonetheless) that may seem overwhelming and unachievable at times. Men have this huge image to maintain and this big persona to carry as a default, that it could easily make anyone feel burdened or even delirious at most times.
The state of delusion that patriarchy pushes men to live in, could be one reason for their short temper or mood swings. The fact that they cannot be seen feeling or falling weak or incapable, that they cannot express themselves as freely as others might be able to could lead to varied emotional distresses. Unfortunately, this phenomenon, of men being burdened with false supremacy, is only our own doing in the name of patriarchy, albeit it might help for all of us to start changing this a step at a time— by acknowledging the fact the all genders are equal and all are humans first and everything else second — to start with.
“When men are oppressed, it’s a tragedy. When women are oppressed, it’s tradition”― Letty Cottin Pogrebin
Women are naturally considered to be emotionally and mentally stronger than men. However, we tend to overlook the possible reasons for this conditioning in either of them. The mere fact that women are allowed to both feel and express their emotions, especially the softer emotions like joy, love, or sorrow, is what contributes to them becoming stronger, in my opinion. Whereas men, on the other hand, are taught to repress those same emotions and pretend to be strong. Men are taught to express rage instead of sadness. They are perceived and supposed to feel stronger whether they feel it or not.
Accepting and perceiving women’s strength accurately can save everyone a lot of ‘pretense’ that leads to pain and poor mental health. Women have understood and accepted it long ago, the reality that men are humans too and they can be weak too— so why don’t you let your guard down dear men? Cry when you feel like, quit what doesn’t feel right, and rest when it’s been a long fight. Women are not judging you. You are constantly living in fear of judgment, judging yourself and each other and that is patriarchy for you!
Like a wise man once said
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes — Jim Carey.
Women are rolling their eyes because men are not giving up patriarchy — the tradition that is burdening them as heavily as it is pushing women backward each time they try and rise. At least women are trying, they are aware they need to pick themselves up and fight against this barbarism but men are mindlessly living in a toxic relationship with this playboy called patriarchy. Patriarchy operates incognito on men, giving them all the privileges that color their vision and reasoning so they live happily in this bliss called ignorance. Ignorant of how this cycle of free privileges in exchange for mental health is breaking so many of them for the longest time because it doesn’t let men ‘see’ that they are actually human too, they can err and fall short too, they do need help from others who have suffered and seen it through.
Dear Men, admit you need women by your side, admit you make mistakes and are wrong sometimes, apologize where needed, let yourself cry (metaphorically speaking), let yourself be huMan — that might just be your first tiny step, helping you reach halfway close to mental and emotional strength comparable to a woman, your step towards sanity. I promise on women’s behalf, we will have your back and be rooting for you when you start.
